Makotic Crack

So I have just seen New Moon with my mother. And I liked it. And I swear my change in opinion isn't due to Kojima finally stating his.

I have one thing to say about it - FACE PUNCH

everything else can be replaced by Taylor Lautner's neck. Not the rest of him, just his neck. Dear god, that neck.




DOES ANYONE HAVE A COPY OF THE MOVIE

I NEED FACE PUNCH ICONS LIKE I NEED OXYGEN AND MY OWN PERSONAL BRAND OF HEROIN

And, you know what? Much as you know how hopelessly in love I am with Defrosting Ice Kings who think they're KILLERS~ and everyone's like NO YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A KILLER~ and he's like NO, I AM A KILLER~ I MUST GO AND LIVE IN ALASKA SO I DON'T HURT ANYONE~ and then he falls in love and RESISTS TORTURE~ and is all IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO PROTECT THEM~ and SUNSETS~ and MANLY SUPPRESSED EMOTIONS~, I think I like Bella the best. And I'd argue she's a good role model for girls.

Yeah, hear me out.

Bella's always in charge. She knows what she wants, is stubborn with it, and it's portrayed as positive. She's sarcastic and genuinely funny. She saves Edward's life. She is a secret badass. Yes, she lives for love, but yes, I think most teenage girls are smart enough to see past the crazy parts and accept the awesome parts of her. I mean, I admire Solid Snake, but that doesn't mean I try to inject my brother full of chemicals or punch my best friends to death. Come on.


And while we're on Kojima Versus Twilight - you all know my theory about Edward being an ideal MGS boss. I watched the first film with Mum yesterday and found myself thinking - WHAT ABOUT JAMES. He has a CODENAME. He runs around shirtless. He sends people creepy phone messages in which he tells people his evil plans in a mocking way. He is the unholy union of Vamp and Liquid, with a good portion of sheer Ocelot sadism thrown in there for fun. Please be in Rising, James.

Although, please, Robert Pattinson, please magically become attractive. Same goes for all the vamps. Bella's gorgeous until we see her gambolling as a vampire.

I really like it when it gets dark early in the Winter. I think I have some form of reverse-SAD, because it always makes me feel really tingly and excited, like a little kid again. I love the feeling of it being dark outside and I'm curled up in a blanket, with hot chocolate, and a fanfic. This time of year is always associated with Fanfic in my brain for me, I don't know why. RP in summer, fic in winter.


I wonder why?



EDIT: And my Mum just bought me an advent calendar with Woody and Buzz on it. YES. SHE KNOWS MY SHIPS INSTINCTIVELY. BEST MUM EVER.

Dear Americans -

I get what Thanksgiving is, but what's Black Friday?

Alright, anyone who hasn't got Spotify yet, I have invites.

HARRY BROWN

PROS

• Michael Caine.
  
• Morally-grey action hero old men.
  
• Look, it's Michael Caine. My gay for him has known no limit since I first realised that the torture sequence in The IPCRESS File was turning me on. I would pay money to see Michael Caine standing in a room for ninety minutes, occasionally striking a pose.
  
• Harry Brown played by Michael Caine = Harry Palmer played by Michael Caine? So much potential conspiracy theory.
  
• People are comparing it to Westerns.
  
• .......In conclusion, Michael Caine.

CONS

• According to Rotten Tomatoes, the politics are seethingly Daily Mail. I HAD A MASSIVE RANT HERE WHICH MENTIONED EVERYTHING FROM MGS-VERSUS-SPLINTER CELL TO INGLOURIOS BASTERDS AND DERAILED INTO FOAMING POLITICS BUT IT WAS LIKE TEN PAGES WRONG AND TOTALLY BORING. It basically can be summed up as - "I don't really like it when the moral of a movie is totally, obnoxiously different to my own morals, usually, unless there are awesome cowboys in the movie, or if it's just really cool, or if the writer quickly acknowledges the other side and then just derails into a pile of reactionary foaming and the movie's pretty good".
  
  Now, I could write about how this doesn't apply to every movie, but then I look at Rotten Tomatoes and see reviews like -
  
  Harry Brown could easily have been scripted by the staff of the Daily Mail with a helping hand from Jeremy Kyle.
  
  and
  
  The youthful villain demographic, plus the prompts to our indignation, come straight from the UK tabloids. But before it spins into terminal hokum, Barber’s feature debut has moments of power and menace.
  
  and also this screed in the Daily Muslim Immigration House Prices Cancer:
  
  It's even politically correct, studiously side-stepping issues of race or immigration... Harry Brown is bound to attract panning reviews from critics who will complain that it is a hysterically overwrought reaction to our broken society - as, indeed, it is. Most hoodies are not the irredeemable monsters that they are here, and a victimised pensioner would have other avenues to explore before turning to vigilante violence.
  
  Look, if even the BLOODY DAILY MAIL thought it was too reactionary -
  
  Compared to the art-house and liberal The White Ribbon, Harry Brown adopts a more conservative, braver, more realistic approach, and one that will earn them the undying hatred of all right-minded (in other words, Left-leaning) critics. Not me. ...Harry Brown is not a great film, but it is an important one, with messages we ignore at our peril.
  
  ....Gaaaah.
  
  And even the EXPRESS thought the film was too conservative. WE ARE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS HERE, PEOPLE.
  
  BASICALLY THIS CAN ALL BE SUMMED UP WITH 'I WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE, BUT AM NOT SURE I CAN STAND TO SEE SOMEONE TALKIN' BOUT MY G- GENERATION LONG ENOUGH TO ENJOY BASKING IN MICHAEL CAINE'S TOTAL AMAZING'.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

PROS:

• Interesting premise!

CONS:

• I will either find it way too scary or not scary enough. I ain't usually afraid of no ghosts, probably because my mother (a believer in them) used to tell me about the ghosts she'd seen as a child and as a young woman, when I was a little girl. I guess I associate them with peacefulness and sadness and calm because that was the way she always used to make them sound - people lost on their way to wherever else. The scariest thing to me, though, is insanity, the reams of pantwetting fear curled up inside your brain where just the right shock will uncoil them. I had nightmares for WEEKS after reading that Bad Trip story on Erowid about the Upsquadomatic Peels. Even now I can't think of it without wanting to cry.
  
  TL;DR IF PARANORMAL ACTIVITY HAS A 'MAYBE YOU'RE JUST CRAZY' INTERPRETATION I WILL FIND IT A LOT MORE FRIGHTENING.

The Informant!

PROS:

• Love the premise
  
• Supposedly really good
  
• Supposedly funny

CONS:

• Matt Daaaaamon

I have a confession to make.



I don't get Lady Gaga.

I agree she's a fantastic looking/acting woman, but her music - it's not even bad, just really dull to me. I have listened to Poker Face a good ten times and still can't for the life of me remember how it goes.

What am I missing? I want to know!

SO IN AN EPIC FEAT OF SENSE-MAKING IT TURNS OUT THAT THE RECORDING STUDIO PROJECT I HAVE TO DO FOR NEXT SUMMER NEEDS TO HAVE SOME PROGRESS DONE ON IT BY NEXT MONDAY

what, honestly, what

it needs to be a 'commerical music' piece, so basically, a pop song. And a pop song needs a subject and stuff and lyrics are important. SO GIVE ME IDEAS FOR STUFF TO SONGWRITE ABOUT OTHERWISE I WILL JUST END UP PERFORMING A SONG ABOUT HOW MUCH SNAKE LOVES OTACON, AND I WILL, YOU KNOW WHAT I AM LIKE

actually that might work. If I did it in a ballady end-of-an-MGS-game-type song. I could make it the theme to that Original Flavour Snake/Otacon I did!





...now I just need a name. All pop songs deserve a name. Does AMGER sound good?

WHY DO I SHIP THEM SO HARD WHY

(yes, I know that's a mirror, but SERIOUSLY)

I'm planning a fic. I want mercenaries. The timing, place and way the Chechen conflict was fought is as perfect for the story I want to tell as the town of Forks was perfect for the story SMeyer wanted to tell. I only need to use it in a few scenes, as setting to show how bad everything is. Whee.

I start looking at setting information.

November 29, 2001 - A young Chechen woman, Elza Gazuyeva, carried out an assassination attempt on the Urus-Martan military district commandant, identified only as General Geydar Gadzhiev, blowing herself up with a hand grenade near a group of Russian soldiers. Gazuyeva had lost a husband, two brothers, and a cousin in the war. Gadzhiev, who was accused of atrocities against civilians by locals, reportedly had personally summoned Elza to witness her husband's and brother's torture and execution. He and several other soldiers later died of their wounds.




So it turns out that as awful as I am, I can't bring myself to use the Chechen conflict as a backdrop for a slash fanfic because it's just too damn awful to crap all over by using it as a metaphor for a fictional character's glamorous sexy hurt-comfort manpain.

It's kind of reassuring that as a fanfic writer there's some lines I can't cross.

uggggghf i have finished that bloody essay

Dear everyone on my flist -

Please. Do this country one favour.

1) http://xfactor.itv.com/2009/vote.php Go here.

2) Select 'John and Edward'. Don't bother looking them up to find out what they sound like or anything. They're clones and they both have the dominant genes, that's all you need to know. Trust me. You'd trust me, wouldn't you?

3) Enjoy it when world peace happens because of your efforts.



Help, I'm not British.

Okay, I'll help!

Why should I care?

Because you should. Also, it's, like, canon trolling. Of a whole country. I don't want to spoil it for you, just vote, please.

Is there incredibly NSFW twincest fanfic on the LJ comm about those twins?

Yes, there is.



IGNORE THIS ENTIRE ENTRY I LOSE

I THOUGHT YOU COULD VOTE ONLINE BUT YOU CAN'T, YOU HAVE TO MAKE PHONE CALLS

OH WELL



LEAVING THIS ENTRY UP FOR TWINCEST FIC LINKS AND NOW I HAVE TO GET BACK TO MY ESSAY

So I'm writing an essay for school about music piracy.






Oh my god, I hate the RIAA.

I mean, I always casually hated them, but now I'm looking up what they actually did, how they push back technology, how they use legal thuggery to combat genuine innovations, how they approach everything with the most intense eyeball-foaming hysteria I can imagine (like trying to sue that one Russian site for trillions), the basic, causally criminal behaviour of them, and how even if their profits are suffering they continue giving themselves the same salary and dock the pay of the musicians.

I'm a pretty shameless pirate myself, but I think the industry needs to start approaching free downloading the way it approaches fanfiction - a free, fan-perpetuated promotional tool. There's evidence that Napster pushed songs to the top of the charts, for god's sake. While there is evidence that CD sales are declining from record chains, they're actually increasing for independent musicians.

We're still listening to just as much. It's just to the wrong stuff.



All things considered, though, I'll admit I support at least one action the RIAA did. While I'm not too thrilled about how it got the law passed, the invention of SCMS was definitely for the better; I mean, considering the way analog media degrades as it copies, it was a damn service.

After listening to the extended version, I'm now basically sure of my theory that Amazing Horse is about Nice Guys.

The woman starts off quite positive towards the man, ready to hear his case even though he and his horse are both pretty ugly. She even licks his horse when he asks, and enjoys doing so. He tempts her with romance and the moment their relationship changes is when he starts talking about the horse's penis - the horse is obviously a metaphor for the man's genitals (it's big and between his legs and SERIOUSLY - "give it a lick", something many men enjoy women doing to penises; "have a stroke of its mane, it turns into a plane, and then it turns back again when you tug on its winky", obviously a metaphor for erection/ejaculation/flaccidity) and when he starts describing his intentions blatantly she figures him out and his later attempts on romance ("I'll take you round the universe and all the other places too") cause her to be unimpressed.

The man isn't interested in romance - his only goal is to get the girl 'on his horse', but he's willing to pretend to be romantic in order to get her on his horse, and when she sees through him he'll become hostile and tell her "shut up woman, get on my horse" - even though she was merely sceptical of him, rather than outright dismissive. In short, he's a textbook Nice Guy.

The cinematography also enhances this. He enters at the start of the cartoon into a scene of idyllic stately home, interrupting the peace with his loud electropop and horse. The camera does subliminal flashes of the horse's ugly face, and zooms into its eternally waiting eyes at the end of each loop - basically, it implies he's going to harass her until she gives in to get some peace and quiet, a typical Nice Guy tactic.

In the extended version available on iTunes, he comes to her later, this time not on his horse but watching it graze elsewhere - promising her that he's not just interested in her for sex - but he quickly proves himself wrong when he mentions the horse's ballsack. Here, she responds with confusion rather than revulsion, but instead of bothering to honour her confusion he tries to force the lemonade on her (strongly implied to be horse urine. I think it's pretty obvious what that part means).

I think what's positive about this cartoon is that even though the dispute is trivial, we sympathise with the woman and laugh at the man for being ridiculous.

Now, I need to get dressed, and do the washing up.

• Right, that's it, I officially quit No Shave November. It was fun while it lasted but I can't stand it any longer. I'm all smooth again and I missed it. ♥
  
  
• I'm also giving up with the whole multifandom RP side of this fandom until further notice - yeah, yeah, I know, most of you aren't wankers, but I don't think multifandom RP was ever really for me anyway, at least not as anything more than a fun diversion. I'm sticking in the fic/art/meta/crack/vidding corner where MGS is still the most awesome fandom ever, thanks.
  
  
• And it IS awesome. The violence is sexy, the sex is violent, the creator is a Twihard and you can crawl on the mines to pick them up. And it has manly military men who ask each other out for cheese fondue, and deceptively handsome otaku who can't remember proverbs, and psychedelic in-universe TV, and a man whose superpower is bee control, and Big Boss is a nuclear-dicked swamp monster who's terrified of Edward Cullen, and spinoffs where a clone of a clone plays children's card games because that's what really matters, and octopuses are the ninjas of the sea. And if you put in your name at the node of the start you'll see it on the dog tag at the end, and if you tap the poster's boob she summons an alert.
  
  
• I have an essay to hand in on Monday. 1500 words about either Internet Culture, Mass Media Culture, Branding, The Music Industry or Journalism. Without debating how this is going to help me write better music, talk about paralysis of choice. I'm leaning towards an essay about DRM because thanks to this REALLY ANNOYING original slash (yes, really) bunny I caught the other night, I'm starting to find DRM in and of itself sexy.
  
  
• Why am I flooded with stupid bunnies now of all times when I have loads of IRL to do?
  
  
• I also want to write a REALLY DEEP META ANALYSIS~ of Advent Children, just to see if my age has improved the picture any, but that would involve watching the movie again. At least I'll be able to scream out all of my 'FOR THE FIRST HALF THE PLAYER CONTROLS CLOUD BUT IS LIMITED BY THE GAME AND AFTER THE COMA CLOUD CONTROLS THE PLAYER AND IS LIMITED BY WHAT HE WANTS' conspiracy theories.
  
  
• Talking of conspiracy theories, I think when you find yourself mentally debating the gender politics of Amazing Horse (NSFW for nonsexual horsedong), you officially need to do something better with your life.
  
  
• I brought £40 worth of bras today. But they all fit and they are all really beautiful and comfortable and they came with free undies and 20% off because they were having a sale. Sometimes I'm so girly I make myself puke. Ah well, my boobies deserve the treat and I'm not short on money, really.
  
  
• I really SHOULD DO THAT NANO when schoolwork isn't kicking my enormous Sir Mixalot ass. Or at the very least, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly In Fifteen Minutes so I can further my cunning plan on making you all watch it.
  
  
• Also, I really want to restart drabble nights. But I have ideas about that and I'm not telling you them.

athenemiranda: what i really love is FANS WHO WORSHIP KADAJ
athenemiranda: he has NO PERSONALITY but is JUST LIKE SEPHIROTH so...................no really what HOW DOES ANYONE LOVE HIM
firefly99: I thought Kadaj has a personality.
firefly99: He's the Liquid to Sephiroth's Solidus.
athenemiranda: well, in AC it wasn't Sephiroth because his wing was the wrong colour. White-winged Seph is only Seph
firefly99: Everything he does is wrapped up in being THE RECESSIVE TWIN~
athenemiranda: awww
firefly99: And he's so young. he's psychologically about fifteen.
firefly99: so he's CLUELESS. and CLUMSY. and totally self-absorbed.
firefly99: and cries and then hates himself for it because it's just another reason why he got the inferior genes
firefly99: ..............incidentally, if you're really conspiracy-mining, you could make the case that FF7 was about 'genes' (the physical presence of Jenova) and AC was about 'memes' (the SHM all call themselves 'memes' of Jenova)
firefly99: and from that thought follows the idea that AC is a postmodernist thing. The SHM are all lame because THEY REPRESENT WHAT FANDOM THINKS SEPHIROTH IS. Loz is what the fanboys think he is, Yazoo the fangirls.
firefly99: Kadaj himself knows he's a cheap ripoff of Sephiroth.
firefly99: He's literally formed in the image of a warped idea of Sephiroth. He's worthless. He knows it. He says it.
firefly99: He fights anyway, because he wants an individual identity.
firefly99: But then he goes to fight Cloud and he's immediately metamorphosed into Sephiroth.
firefly99: He has no identity. By fighting Cloud he's affirmed himself as a copy of Sephiroth's identity, and that's what he becomes. Because that's what the fans WANT him to be.
firefly99: .......................................................I'm not saying for a second that any of this was intentional but I think I might believe it is, for fun.

Yesterday, I saw 2012, because roommates R and S wanted to take me to see it. It was kind of painful because I was gawping at the beautiful, beautiful CGI and thinking, 'Roland Emmerich, you have a computer which can draw the most incredible, gorgeous, otherworldly, alien, powerful images that fifty or even five years ago no-one could imagine possible. WHY ARE YOU USING THAT COMPUTER TO MAKE A MOVIE LIKE THIS ONE.'

That said, for a blockbuster disaster movie, it wasn't bad at all. There were quite a few bits I liked and the directing was really solid. I liked Adrian, he should have been the main character and not The White Male Father Out Of The Family Of American Archetypes Who Are Ideological Concepts More Than They Are Characters.

My favourite part was when Adrian's trying to get into the pants of the first daughter and he tells her about how his book is going to become part of the Earth's legacy, 'because I'm reading it'. Sadly, that was the only clever part. Oh well.

Oh, and I liked the Russians. They were great.

Anyway, I can't believe I just wrote all that about a shitty film when I wrote nothing about all the amazing films I have seen recently - Jennifer's Body (which was INCREDIBLE and funny and wicked and intelligent and had some of the most incredibly hot femslash) and Up (which I saw despite my globophobia and OMG RUSSELL WAS SO AMAZING I WANT ONE ;_____;) and The Men Who Stare At Goats (just. excellent.)

So here.

Have some worse fanart, for a better movie.

I'm in Movie Music Class and the tutor's playing action movie music and it's driving me slowly mad because I keep hearing how the MG2 soundtrack is basically all subtle Jimmy Hart versions of the entire 80s action movie canon.

LET'S MAKE A LIST GUYS, I'LL START

Theme of Solid Snake - Escape From New York
Advance Immediately/Level 1 Warning - Terminator
Chasing The Green Beret - Mission Impossible

the moral is - to avoid incredibly detailed, IC and vivid sex dreams involving Blondie/Tuco, do not watch spaghetti Westerns before bed.


....My brain was coming up with direction, too. And music. Tuco's wail of climax even morphed into his human-voice-yelling motif.



It was bizarre. I'd almost say it was the kind of thing Ocelot would fap to except he obviously ships Blondie/Angel Eyes.

I want to be a Vocaloid producer!

I don't speak a damn lick of Japanese (or any language besides English, for that matter), so I'd rather write songs in English. In terms of English Vocaloids I have access to Leon & Lola, Miriam, Sweet Ann and Prima. I dicked around with Miriam on my old computer, and am dicking around with Sweet Ann ATM (I really like the sound of her but she has such a thick American accent. Something has to be done about that. :( )

Prima sounds really good, based on demos. Still don't like Kaito's voice, though.

I watched this instead of sleeping.



It gets even funnier when you remember that Snake's physique was modelled after his. And yes, there is ass shaking.